Meet the Viking Part 5: Finding Love and Purpose – The Viking Identity Becomes a Mission
In Part 4 of my story, I shared my Lisbon chapter and the realization that my true calling was coaching, not customer service. Now comes the most transformative part – how finding authentic love and embracing my Viking identity led to discovering my true purpose. This is about finding purpose after fibromyalgia and building a life that honors your authentic self.
The Viking Costume That Changed Everything
After returning from my first failed Lisbon attempt in late 2022, I was living in the rental house in Grootebroek, slowly rebuilding my life. In October 2023, I was invited to a Halloween party with a costume requirement.
The moment I received the invitation, I knew exactly what I had to be: a Viking.
This would be the first time in my adult life that I’d go out in costume. But putting on that Viking outfit felt like coming home to myself. I had chosen to be who I felt I was, not who others expected me to be. My mind was free, and from that moment, I knew the Viking wasn’t just a costume.
On November 26th, 2023, I went to Rijswijk with Esther – me as a Viking, Esther as a fairy/fantasy figure. At this event, I met Martijn, Esther’s fiancé at the time, who was dressed as a pirate. Meeting Martijn gave me understanding of spiritual freedom. He chose to be a pirate because it gave him the feeling of freedom to be who he felt he was.
This was revolutionary thinking for someone who’d spent years being defined by illness, then by recovery, then by divorce. Through my fibromyalgia journey, I’d discovered that I had always identified myself with my work – I was a truck driver, a massage therapist, a teacher. But now, outside of any professional role, I was discovering my true identity. I could choose who I was, not based on what I did for work, but based on who I felt called to be.
The Viking wasn’t a job title – it was an authentic expression of my inner nature.
The Facebook Group That Changed My Life
As a Viking, I felt truly free. Because of my interest in Vikings, Sweden, and Scandinavian culture, I joined several Facebook groups. One was about the love of the Viking lifestyle.
On the first day in this group, I saw a picture of a woman – mainly her green eyes.
Being really curious, I asked her if I could send her a message. Surprised that I was a man who asked politely, she got curious too. The conversation began.
This was Birgit, and she would become the most important person in my new life.
Love Across Borders: 500 Kilometers of Commitment
We had some big challenges in our relationship. The first challenge was the 500 kilometers between us, which I overcame by driving 1,000 kilometers most weekends for six months.
But there were deeper challenges I won’t detail for privacy reasons. What I can share is that after years of being in a relationship where I felt unseen and unappreciated, Birgit saw me completely – including the Viking identity I was still discovering.
Finding purpose after fibromyalgia often includes learning what authentic love feels like. When you’ve been the “patient” in a relationship, receiving care but not necessarily feeling truly known, discovering someone who sees your strength rather than your limitations is transformative.
The Swedish Holiday That Sealed My Fate
During this period, Justin had the idea to show Sweden to his girlfriend. He asked me if I wanted to drive them there, and I really wanted to. He’d booked the same cottage we’d rented in Sunnemo in 2022.
I contacted Mattias and Deborah, the people who’d bought our Swedish house, and they invited us to visit. Being back in that house felt like being home.
That day, I knew I had to move back to Sweden as soon as possible.
This wasn’t nostalgia or an attempt to recreate the past. Sweden represented something deeper – a place where I could be authentic, where nature surrounded me, where life moved at a pace that honored rather than depleted my nervous system.
The Factory Job That Taught Me Patience
After my Swedish holiday, being back in the Netherlands felt especially difficult. Job-wise, I was working in a factory in Medemblik alongside my massage work. I couldn’t coach people because I wasn’t in the right mindset yet.
My original plan was to work at the factory for just one or two months. But setbacks with my other income sources taught me a crucial lesson: you must ensure there’s a steady income stream. This gives your own business the space to grow without the pressure of immediate financial survival.
I started as a temporary worker in production but soon became a machine operator, line manager, and assembler. I worked there a little over a year.
During that year, I kept thinking about needing a job I could do from anywhere. Online coaching was in my head, but my mind needed more time to process everything that had happened.
The factory work was actually perfect for this transitional period. It required enough focus to keep me present but left mental space to think about my future. Physical work had always grounded me, and returning to it after the chaos of divorce and displacement helped me reconnect with my body’s wisdom.
Building Authentic Relationships
My friendship with Esther deepened during this period. We continued our massage exchanges – she would massage me, I would massage her. For someone who gives massages professionally, receiving therapeutic touch is rare and valuable.
More importantly, Esther understood my journey because she’d been my student. She’d witnessed my teaching style and knew the passion I brought to helping others understand the human body.
Through Esther and Martijn, I was learning about authentic community – people who supported each other’s growth without trying to change or fix each other.
The Wedding That Marked My Departure
In July 2024, I was invited to Esther and Martijn’s wedding – a beautiful weekend where people came in costumes of their choice. This wasn’t just a wedding; it was a celebration of authenticity.
Attending their wedding as The Viking felt like a public declaration of who I’d become. I wasn’t hiding my interests or conforming to others’ expectations of how a 48-year-old divorced man should behave.
After the wedding, I said goodbye to my children Lukas and Tristan, and goodbye to my ex-wife. This was the day I officially left my old life behind.
On July 29th, Birgit and I arrived in Germany together.
The Real Beginning of The Viking Coaching
By the time I returned to Lisbon in July 2024 for my final attempt at finishing what I’d started, everything had changed. I wasn’t running toward something or away from something – I was moving with clear intention.
The marketing company that had promised twenty appointments per month but delivered only two clients in three months taught me a crucial lesson: I couldn’t build an authentic coaching practice using someone else’s methods or values.
I needed to create something that honored my journey, my values, and my unique understanding of what it takes to transform your life after crisis.
Why I Chose to Write My Book
The decision to write my book came from a deep understanding that my story could help others, but not because I saw myself as special or heroic.
I realized that as parents, we often tell our children who they should be based on what other people expect. I believe we should teach children to make good decisions from the heart, not just from the head.
If you choose from your head, you’ll choose what you think you need. If you choose from your heart and it doesn’t work out, you’ve learned something valuable.
My story in the book is meant to inspire, not to position myself as a victim. I’m not a victim – I’m a student of life. I’ve learned many lessons and will learn many more.
You can read the complete story in my book “How I Became The Viking” available on Amazon.
The True Purpose Revealed
Finding purpose after fibromyalgia wasn’t about returning to who I was before illness. It was about integrating everything I’d learned into service to others.
The Viking Coaching represents:
Ancient Wisdom Applied to Modern Challenges: Vikings were explorers, survivors, and community builders. These qualities translate perfectly to navigating chronic illness, divorce, career changes, and identity transformation.
Authentic Strength vs. Toxic Masculinity: The Viking archetype represents true strength – the courage to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to change course when necessary.
Community Over Competition: Vikings survived through cooperation and mutual support, not individual dominance.
Adaptability and Resilience: Viking culture was built on adapting to harsh conditions and thriving despite challenges.
The Integration of All My Experiences
By late 2024, I could see how every piece of my journey contributed to my ability to help others:
- Fibromyalgia and recovery taught me that the body can heal in ways doctors don’t always understand
- Cold exposure and breathwork showed me practical tools for nervous system regulation
- Massage therapy training gave me hands-on understanding of how the body holds stress and trauma
- Teaching experience developed my ability to explain complex concepts simply
- Divorce and starting over taught me about resilience and authentic relationships
- Multiple career changes showed me that professional identity can evolve
- International moves proved that environment significantly affects health and happiness
The Coaching Philosophy Emerges
The Viking Coaching isn’t just about techniques – it’s about helping people discover who they really are beneath the roles others have assigned them.
Whether someone is struggling with chronic illness, relationship challenges, career transitions, or general life dissatisfaction, the core question is always: “Who are you when you’re not trying to be who others expect you to be?”
Finding purpose after fibromyalgia means recognizing that your struggles have given you unique qualifications to help others facing similar challenges.
Looking Forward to the Final Chapter
As I write this in late 2024, The Viking Coaching is no longer just an idea – it’s a mission. I’m helping people discover their own inner Vikings: the part of themselves that’s strong enough to survive any storm, wise enough to adapt to changing conditions, and brave enough to build authentic community.
In the final part of my story, I’ll share how The Viking Coaching officially launched, the specific methods I use to help clients transform their relationship with stress and chronic conditions, and my vision for the future.
But more importantly, I’ll share how you can begin your own Viking journey – discovering the strength, wisdom, and authenticity that were always inside you, waiting to be claimed.
The boy who was easily distracted in school, the man who ended up in a wheelchair, the husband who was betrayed, the father whose children scattered across Europe – all of these experiences were preparing me to become The Viking.
Sometimes our greatest wounds become our greatest gifts.
Finding purpose after fibromyalgia or other major life challenges requires integrating all your experiences into service to others. Your struggles weren’t meaningless – they were preparation for your unique mission.
Ready to discover your own inner Viking? Schedule a consultation to explore how your experiences can become your strength.
Next month: Part 6 (Final) – “The Viking Method: From Personal Recovery to Helping Others Transform”
