The Day Everything Changed
I was 34 years old, working in transport and logistics, when fibromyalgia entered my world and turned everything upside down. One morning in 2010, I was working on a truck with container boxes when I realized I had absolutely no strength in my arms. My upper body felt like a dead battery – I couldn’t even work.
What started as unexplained shoulder pain and neck stiffness rapidly escalated into something that would confine me to a wheelchair for five and a half years. This is my story – not as a miracle cure or universal solution, but as one person’s journey through the darkness of chronic illness toward a completely different kind of life.
Disclaimer: This is my personal experience with fibromyalgia recovery. Everyone’s journey is different, and what worked for me may not work for everyone. Always consult with healthcare professionals before making changes to your treatment plan. This story is not medical advice – it’s simply one person’s path through chronic illness.
The Descent: When My Body Became My Enemy
The onset wasn’t gradual. I had been having shoulder problems for two weeks, and my neck was getting worse. I felt really out of shape and weak. Growing up, I’d always been told that things like that come on their own and go away on their own. But this time was different.
When I told my boss I couldn’t work, he said to go home, get some rest, maybe see a doctor. But I took a few days off and the pain and stiffness was getting worse every day. The doctor sent me to physiotherapy. This is where I met Dennis, my physiotherapist who would become a crucial part of my recovery journey. Dennis didn’t just treat my symptoms – he truly listened and understood that something deeper was happening with my body. When traditional physiotherapy approaches weren’t enough, Dennis introduced me to medical fitness, opening a door to movement-based recovery that would prove essential years later.
Despite Dennis’s dedicated care and innovative approach, my condition continued to worsen. The neurologist found no answers, just more problems. An MRI showed two worn vertebrae in my neck.
After two years of seeing different specialists, undergoing countless tests, and receiving conflicting opinions, I was finally advised to see a psychiatrist. His first question shocked me: “Do you want the addictive medicine or the non-addictive medicine?”
I was totally surprised by that question. I didn’t want to be dependent on pills for the rest of my life, so I chose the non-addictive medication for nerve pain. But it turned me into a zombie who lay on the couch all day. I would wake up six times a night because of pain, take my medication, and spend my days watching TV, going to the toilet, taking medication, and eating. I had no freedom or any form of life at all.
The psychiatrist’s final answer devastated me: “I see you have fibromyalgia. I’m not allowed to give you the official diagnosis. I can’t help you other than to prescribe stronger pills. You’ll just have to learn to live with it – there’s nothing more we can do for you.”
At that moment, I was at a crossroads. I was 36 years old, confined to a wheelchair and mobility scooter, struggling to do anything on my own. My weight ballooned from 86kg to over 106kg before I stopped weighing myself.
The Choice: Death or Rebirth
I had to make a choice: does life end here, or does a new life begin? I chose a new way of thinking and acting. What could I do to become mobile again?
My first step was logical – if my legs were weak and I needed to walk, I had to lose weight. I stopped stuffing myself with sweets and replaced them with carrots and celery. I bought a smartwatch to track my activity and managed to lose 14kg while increasing my steps from 50 to 100 per day. It was a really proud moment at the time.
I started thinking about reverse engineering my life. If this happened because of stress, what would happen if I relaxed as much as possible? I went down the path of biohacking my own body, working on mindfulness, meditation, and stress-reducing tools.
My autistic brain got to work: how do you reverse engineer fibromyalgia? I learned that our body needs proper building blocks – if you want to build a good house, you don’t use sugar as building blocks.
The Discovery That Changed Everything: Meeting Henk van den Bergh
While researching online and watching YouTube videos about self-care, I came across a man on Dutch TV known as “The Iceman” – Wim Hof. He was sitting in an ice bath of his own free will! I remember thinking, “Give me a sauna, a hot shower, but me in cold water? No thank you.”
But fate intervened. My wife was following Koen de Jong on Facebook and saw a message that he was looking for people to sit in a cold-water bath at his friend’s place in Blaricum. My wife got picked, and I decided to come along so I could go to the cinema.
Once there, I got chatting with the friend and owner of the Blaricum forge – Henk van den Bergh. Ever since that day, Henk’s name has meant so much to me.
Henk was incredibly open about his story. He had severe rheumatism, the medication wasn’t helping anymore, and any hope of living a normal life was gone. He told me that meeting Wim Hof changed his life completely.
Wim had said to Henk, “Tomorrow you’re doing 40 pushups.” Henk protested – he couldn’t do 40 pushups. The next day, after the group breathing exercises, Wim asked Henk to step forward and do 40 pushups. To his own surprise, Henk managed it. It was a struggle, but he did it.
Henk’s first thought was: “If this is the result of one session, how will my future be?”
Henk started doing breathwork, cold showers, and ice baths. He was able to start exercising again. Living close to the Gooimeer, during winter he began cold plunging in the lake. Soon, curious people asked him why he did this. Henk explained, and people started joining him.
This eventually enabled him to take over his father’s forge and work full-time again – amazing! Henk organized the “New Year’s Fit Zit” in Blaricum because he thought the traditional New Year’s plunge – people running into cold water and immediately running back out – was stupid.
Henk told me to start training, and after two months I’d be ready to join the group. Thanks to Henk, I found the strength and confidence I needed to look to the future with optimism.
My First Ice Bath Experience: The Beginning of Recovery
My wife and I were so inspired that we took over an old bathtub and made ice cubes to try it in our backyard. It was a big challenge, but if it worked, why not give it a go?
I was happy to see that my walking was getting a little better, the pain was decreasing every day, and my interest in the human body was growing. Taking ice baths taught me to focus and showed me that my body was way stronger than I thought.
The New Year’s Fit Zit in Blaricum was incredible. The special guest was Wim Hof himself. We did group warmup exercises to prepare for the cold water. The energy in the group of about 250 people was amazing. We walked slowly into the cold water of the Gooi Meer, slowly went down until our shoulders were submerged, controlled our breath to keep it nice and slow, and after a minute or two slowly walked out. The music turned on with a shamanic beat, and we did horse stance exercises. Afterward, there were fires, hot chocolate, and many good conversations.
Every time I did the breathing exercises, the acidity of my body went down, and my body could finally recover. After doing cold exposure exercises for two years, I was ready for a new challenge – I wanted to help people.
From Patient to Healer: My Educational Journey
I decided to take a course to learn relaxation massage. In the first lesson, my insecurities were tested. My ability to learn theoretical things had never been good, so I felt I probably couldn’t do this. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I quickly discovered that I needed to learn differently than others. Soon I was using an app, and many classmates asked if they could use it too. During all the hospital interviews and tests, I’d received great advice: “If you ever get back to work, do something you love and are passionate about.”
I was really curious about the human body. I wanted to know: where do these problems come from? Is there anything I can do to reverse them?
I also discovered I liked to teach. I asked the massage school owner how someone like me could become a teacher there. The answer was that I needed to be a sports massage therapist and do a two-year internship. So I knew what I had to do for the next three years.
As usual with me, things went differently. I started training as a sports masseur, and they asked if I wanted to start my internship in the same year to save time. I said yes.
Once I graduated, I realized I really enjoyed inspiring people and sharing information. When I got my diploma, I started teaching evenings and had my own massage practice two days during the week.
The Missing Piece: From Massage to Coaching
I was happy to help clients with their sore muscles, and my treatments were going well. But talking to clients made me realize that massage alone wasn’t solving their problems. I needed to do more than treat symptoms – I needed to help clients change their behavior.
I studied what was causing their problems and found that when I coached myself, my situation improved. When I coached and massaged clients, they could manage their stress better. They kept coming back because they liked both the conversation and the massage.
I decided to enroll in a coaching training program. After graduating, I discovered it was really possible to reduce symptoms with massage while reducing stress through coaching. The combination was the ideal package. I was finally at the sweet spot of life.
The Swedish Adventure: A Dream Interrupted
Then COVID changed everything. My wife and I worked in contact professions – massage businesses had to close, night schools shut down. We weren’t making much money before, but we were safe and living well. Suddenly, all our work was forbidden.
The world became uncertain and divided. People were angry – those with vaccines angry at those without, and vice versa. Discussions happened everywhere: supermarkets, massage classes, even during massages.
My wife and I decided we’d had enough. I wanted to leave the Netherlands for a few years. During my truck driving career, I’d been to Sweden. I asked my wife, “If I say let’s move to Sweden, what’s your answer?” I thought she’d say no, but she said yes – let’s sell the house and move to Sweden.
Building Our Swedish Dream
We found a Swedish red house on a hill with a big barn and underground garage in Hagfors. It was paradise, and it was ours. Moving day was tough – that’s the risk of buying a house on a hill.
The garden was 5,410 square meters, requiring a lawnmower tractor. We worked incredibly hard that summer because in Sweden, you can’t do much outside in winter. I improved the balcony, removed obstacles from the garden, and installed a wood-burning stove connected to central heating.
We experienced the Northern Lights – tears in my eyes from the beauty. The green and purple shapes dancing in the sky, absolute silence, no wind, no cars, just us being one with nature in the best light show I’d ever witnessed.
When Dreams Become Nightmares
In August, when I picked up my children from the airport, everything changed. I discovered my wife was having an affair – not the first time. This was the same situation as in 2016 when I discovered her affair with my children’s football coach.
Months of preparing to move to Sweden, months of hard work preparing our dream house where we could live mortgage-free, and she was secretly in contact with a married man, trying to get him to visit.
I had given someone a second chance, but giving someone a third chance would make me a fool. After difficult conversations with my children, divorce became inevitable. My wife didn’t want to stay in Sweden.
The Painful Return and New Beginnings
We had to sell the house, the camper, and the four-wheel-drive. I planned to follow my son Justin to Lisbon, but that didn’t work out as expected either. After a brief attempt at living in Portugal, I returned to the Netherlands.
During this difficult period, I met Esther, a former massage student who became a good friend. At a Halloween party, I chose to dress as a Viking. It felt right – I had chosen to be who I felt I was, not who others expected me to be. From that moment, I knew the Viking wasn’t just a costume for me.
Through a Viking lifestyle Facebook group, I met Birgit, recognizing her beautiful green eyes immediately. Despite the 500km distance, I drove 1000km most weekends for six months. Eventually, I moved to Germany to be with her.
The Birth of The Viking Coaching
In July 2024, I went to Lisbon to finish what I’d started in 2022 – working alongside my son Justin. But I discovered my true calling wasn’t in customer service. My passion was coaching people through their struggles, just as I’d coached myself through fibromyalgia.
The marketing company I worked with promised twenty appointments per month but delivered only two clients in three months. I realized I needed to build something authentic – The Viking Coaching was born.
What Fibromyalgia Taught Me
Looking back on this journey, fibromyalgia taught me valuable lessons about resilience, adaptability, and what truly matters in life.
The Body’s Capacity for Change: The most important lesson was discovering that the body has remarkable capacity for adaptation and healing, even in chronic conditions. The changes in my function over several years demonstrated that the nervous system, immune function, and pain processing can shift significantly with consistent, appropriate interventions.
The Power of Small, Consistent Actions: Recovery didn’t happen through dramatic interventions but through small daily practices maintained consistently over months and years. Breathing exercises, cold exposure, gentle movement, and stress management created cumulative effects that transformed my quality of life.
Redefining Strength and Success: Fibromyalgia forced me to reconsider what strength means. Instead of measuring achievement through external accomplishments, I learned to value progress in pain management, improvements in daily function, and the ability to help others facing similar challenges.
My Current Life and Ongoing Management
Today, I maintain daily practices that support my continued health: breathing exercises every morning, regular cold exposure, consistent but gentle exercise, and careful attention to stress management. These aren’t cures, but they’re tools that help me maintain the improvements I’ve achieved.
The unpredictability of fibromyalgia means I still have difficult days, but these setbacks no longer feel like permanent defeats. I have tools and strategies that help me navigate challenges and return to baseline more quickly.
Hope for Others: What This Journey Can Teach
I share this story not to suggest everyone with fibromyalgia will experience the same recovery, but to demonstrate that significant improvement is possible. Recovery looks different for everyone, but there are principles that can be adapted to various circumstances.
Recovery is Possible: The most important message is that recovery from fibromyalgia is possible, though it may not look like returning to your pre-illness state. Success requires redefining what recovery means for your specific situation.
Comprehensive Approaches Offer the Most Promise: The most significant improvements come from addressing multiple aspects of fibromyalgia simultaneously – nervous system regulation, movement therapy, stress management, nutrition optimization, and psychological support.
Professional Support and Self-Advocacy Are Crucial: Self-directed recovery efforts work best in combination with appropriate professional support. Learning to advocate for yourself within healthcare systems is important.
The Importance of Hope and Community: Hope is crucial for recovery – not false optimism, but realistic hope based on understanding that improvement is possible with appropriate effort and support.
The Journey Continues
My transformation from wheelchair dependency to my current level of function took several years and required fundamental changes in how I approached health and life. It wasn’t easy, linear, or guaranteed, but it was possible.
I continue to live with fibromyalgia, but the condition no longer defines the boundaries of my life. I’ve built a meaningful career helping others, developed businesses that provide flexibility for managing symptoms, and created a lifestyle that supports my ongoing health.
If you’re currently struggling with fibromyalgia, know that your current circumstances don’t necessarily predict your future possibilities. While I can’t promise everyone will experience the same degree of recovery, improvement is possible for many people when they have access to appropriate support and effective strategies.
Recovery from fibromyalgia isn’t about returning to who you were before the illness – it’s about discovering who you can become despite and perhaps because of the challenges you’ve faced. That person may be stronger, more compassionate, and more resilient than you ever imagined possible.
The Viking in me emerged through the darkest period of my life. Sometimes our greatest strength is forged in our deepest struggles.
This is the first post in my series about comprehensive approaches to fibromyalgia recovery and stress-related conditions. If you’re interested in learning more about the specific techniques that helped me recover, or if you’re ready to start your own journey toward better health, visit The Viking Coaching to explore how we can work together.
Next in this series: “The Science Behind Cold Exposure and Fibromyalgia: How Ice Baths Changed My Life” – where I’ll dive deep into the physiological mechanisms that make cold therapy so effective for chronic pain conditions.
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